So I’ve had a pretty good run of magazine submissions accepting my images this year which I’m pretty pleased about, but then came the moment of No, followed by another No and then another No.
I took some pictures a while back and I was pretty excited about the idea and the final images were a composite of a few of those images to make what I had already decided in my head would be a panoramic along with a few more. When it came to submitting I was so confident they would be picked up…more confident than I had been with previous submissions so when the no’s came in I was lets say more than a little surprised.
I spent some time wondering why, feeling rejected, not good enough, questioning whether this career choice was a good idea, whether I can actually do this, whether I should go back to a 9-5 because it would be so much easier, but I decided to put them to one side and work on some other projects but the wondering was still there. It’s not like they give you a specific reason for the no because that would be too easy. I decided to take a serious moment myself and try and critique them myself and I actually found this really useful. It was a great way to think about and assess my style as a photographer and work out what I can improve on for next time.
I’m definitely growing as a photographer and also as a person so with this bump in the road. I’ll keep on trying and knocking on those doors. A year ago I hadn’t even thought about being published but hey look here I am.
Leanne Grace Miller xx
I’m baaack, Snap! Snap!
After a mini break or a mental pause, I’m back to making more images.
Been working on one of my own projects as well as jumping on the bandwagon of a couple of other people so I’ve had a good run of making some portfolio images. I must say I found it easier than I thought giving up some creative control…in fact handing everything over to someone else took away some pressure. I still struggle with the amount of pressure I put on myself than is necessary and think I have to seriously find a way to not because that feeling in the pit of my stomach and the words that torment my mind are not so nice (any tips/suggestions welcome).
Get Busy, Be encouraged, Be Inspired
I attended a workshop with my old tutor, who’s running a group every couple of weeks with old and new students and anyone else interested in photography. There are little tasks designed to get you thinking and exploring your own working methods. I’ve only attened the one session so far but after that session I felt encouraged to get back at it. It’s held in a nice relaxed environment (a private room in a pub in the city).
Battlefield of the mind – Therapy
I’ve been attending a graphic design class to work on my post production and also taking part in art therapy. I found art therapy quite relaxing but it was in a group setting. You go through a process of talking a bit before and then talking about your piece of work after. At first I didn’t mind but then I found myself skipping sessions and when I asked myself why I realised I don’t actually like the talking to each other part. It’s not that I’m not a talker or sharer or even a dislike people, I just want to go…be silent in a dedicated space, draw, think, contemplate, meditate and then be done.
I purchased my own chalk and have been drawing a little at home, just to see how it feels and although I quite like it, I’m not making a scheduled effort to practise. I’ll have to give some more thought to making it happen at home. I’m also looking for meditation sessions to go along to now as I think it may be beneficial.
I’ve had a few wobbles of late where I’ve been feeling, drained and exhausted. I haven’t had the time to process reasons etc, but I know I need to get back into exercising and eating healthy regularly as I’ve been quite neglectful of myself.
Had another publication in Dreamingless and took some pics at a woman’s event where the pics I took got featured (with some help from my aunt and cousin) in the voice (4/6 are mine).
Feeling pretty blessed and grateful. I’m waiting for the release of another publication (I’m hoping won’t be too much longer) but it’s giving me the opportunity to practise patience.
Coming Soon (or at somepoint)
- New publication
- My first location shoot
- Chasing rainbows
- Flower Power
- Instagram Challenge
- …and anything else that happens between now and then
Hope this post blesses you in some way shape or form.
Leanne Grace Miller x
Happy Valentines Day!
I thought I would share one of my favourites about love.
4 Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; 5 love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; 6 love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. 7 Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.8 Love is eternal. 1 corinthians 13 4-8
I hope one day to love completely like this. Until then I will try to love with Gods grace and help.
Leanne Grace Miller
Ok, this is my new years post that never got posted which I’ve now decided to post anyway. So with that being said…
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Its that time of year again and I just re-read my last years post on new years…full of cliche’s, goal setting and reaching out and this one will be more of the same.
Resolutions are destined to be broken as far as I’m concerned so I’m over them and will stick to goal setting.
This year I’m starting with reflecting, a quick look back at what I’ve been upto
Do some reflection √
Check some stuff off of the goals list √
…and then pretty much add/subtract some things and I’m good to go for this year. I’m pretty much going with…
“Make It Happen”
When you are following a dream with faith and hope all you pretty much need to do is Make It Happen. Yes its great to have goals, a 5/10 year plan even because it helps to have it written down and keep you focused then all you have to do is something towards that journey each and everyday. Sometimes my something is small…really small, teenie, tiny even, but some days that something is huge a great big giant leap. Somedays I take steps backwards, way backwards but I get on up and start making my way again.
There are things not accomplished and I was hoping to reunite with an old friend but unfortunately that didn’t happen. I started off last year on such a high… but came down very quickly with a mighty thud, I didn’t even remember the hope to reunite until I read it just now. Hopefully I will make it happen this year because I would love to catch up even if its just for a moment.
I’m in my second year of freelancing and I still have no clue what I’m actually doing and I’m still pretty much terrified of each new step I take but I’m doing it and hope thats all that matters. I can take a decent picture and the business side is… a work in progress but so are my skills, I’ll forever be learning and growing and making mistakes and learning from them but at some point I’m sure I will be able to say to myself “You’re doing good girl”. I’m competing with no one but me and the only fight I have to fight is the one in my mind. I think its going to be a life long battle but I get better at it every time I choose to fight and not dwell. By Gods grace.
Leanne Grace Miller
I mentioned looking for a photo challenge in my last post to help with my lack of posting/photography, well I found a good one and thought about taking part but couldn’t commit to any of the ideas I had, I would get the monthly challenge in my inbox think of an idea but do nothing about it and then once the challenge was over I would come up with an idea that I thought was brilliant but it was too late to take part in the actual challenge because it was already onto the next (one of those moments where you are having and argument or discussion and you want to be right and your mind goes blank and then after a ton of responses, ideas and witty repertoire come to mind and you get even more annoyed with yourself because it’s too late). I keep telling myself I’m a secret genius and nobody is meant to actually see my genius ideas because they are just so incredible no one will be able to take it or I’m just rubbish under pressure…think I’ll go with secret genius.
I did decide to challenge myself by submitting to a magazine for creatives, I’ve been a fan for a few years so decided to push myself, it also appealed to me because they had a no retouching policy although I’m not too sure it’s still in place but the no retouching part was perfect for me and not just because I’m a “ain’t nobody got time for dat” kinda girl, but also because the world is so obsessed with retouching and contouring and I can’t even be bothered to put mascara on most days so I get annoyed everyone is walking around with full slap on and I’m walking around pretending that I don’t care they look gorgeous because they’ve made an effort and I feel like crap because I don’t care, can’t be bothered am taking a social stand for women but mainly can’t be bothered. No retouching was great for me because I didn’t have to spend hours, days and weeks stressing over retouching…
Yay me…I got published
“You Can’t Sit With Us” Publication in Dreamingless Magazine
Four images were featured (unretouched) so yay me and thank you to Dreamingless Magazine for the publication as well as to the lovely girls who helped make it happen, I could not have done it without them.
A year ago doing something like this was not even a thought and while I still feel underwhelmed, I do feel extremely blessed and thankful to God that it all came together.
Photographer|| Me assisted by Valentina Goncherenko
Stylist|| Antonia Moran assisted by Helena Moran
MUA|| Erin Fuller
Hair|| Abbi Richards
Models||Lucie R and Gabriella S from Models Plus & Folashade and Abbi Richards
Retoucher|| Marina PolovyanThe full and retouched images for the editorial can be seen on my site www.leannegracemiller.com.
Battlefield of the Mind
I still have feelings of negativity that come in waves and can last seconds, minutes, hours, days or weeks, during the wave I feel consumed by it and suffocated almost, like there is no way out. I feel less guilty for the bad days when I’m reduced to a stop because being still is where I seek extra help from God, praying really helps me. I’m trying to be a mum, maintain a household, be a freelancer and establish a career while also navigating old and new relationships…of course I need Gods help life is so busy and stressful, I have no idea how other mums do it but I take my hat off to them. I just thank God for bringing me through.
13 I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me.
So with that, onto the next…
Leanne Grace Miller x
*this post was taken off, edited and published again on 12/01/16 because…well just because.